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Production Information

Dir: Willard Carrol

Hyperion Signature Productions - 1990

Starring: Peter Riegert, Alexander Godunov, Joan Severance, William Hickey

Synopsis

Providing a synopsis of the Runestone is a problematic undertaking, as the film doesn't actually appear to have a plot. Adapted by the director - Willard Carrol - from a novella by Mark E. Rogers, the movie involves an ancient stone that possesses the power to resurrect a Nordic demon, and which was buried in North America by early Scandinavian visitors to the continent. After being unearthed by a group of coal miners in New England, the stone transforms a divorced archaeologist into a thoroughly unconvincing monster, who then proceeds to rampage through New York, and slaughter countless people in museums and art galleries for no adequately explained reason. I think the implication is that the archeologist willingly provides his body as a host for the demon in exchange for being reunited with his wife, but I'm honestly not certain as I only viewed the film once, and have no real intention of doing so again.

Rant

I'll confess to having long harboured an ironic appreciation for the unintentional hilarity of bad horror/sci-fi films. "Quatermass and the Pit", "The Brides of Dracula" "Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter" - and of course the immortal "Plan 9 From Outer Space", which *really* has to be seen to be believed, I've watched and enjoyed them all on numerous occasions. The Runestone really ought to fall into the same category as it definitely features all the right ingredients for a "great bad movie". The central premise is both ridiculous and ill-considered, the script is laughably bad, the score makes Wagnerian Opera sound subtle and understated, and the actors indulge in the kind of unapologetic ham-fest unwitnessed since the passing of Vincent Price. Add to this a slobbering beastie that bears a striking resemblance to a malevolent fur rug on legs, and you should end up with something quite entertainingly awful. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

I'm not sure precisely where all the problems arise - as I stated earlier, I could only endure a single viewing of the film - but there appears to be some confusion as to exactly where the director's intentions lay. Did Willard Carrol wish to make an artistic horror film drawing heavily on Eddaic legend, or did he just want to churn out 90 minutes of hysterical low budget nonsense, capable of paralysing audinces the world over with laughter? I'm assuming that he really didn't know, as The Runestone wanders aimlessly between the two extremes to no very pleasing effect. It's a shame really - had he chosen to commit himself wholeheartedly to either style, the film could have been quite a good laugh.

Strangely enough, I thoroughly enjoyed Josh's momentary appearance in The Runestone. His brief but intense depiction of Crossley, a young and soon-to-be-extremely-dead policeman is immensely entertaining, and *more* than worth the hour of unmitigated bollocks you're obliged to sit through prior to its arrival. Not only does he portray the act of being beaten to death with infinite style and poise, but he is capable of producing one of *the* throatiest and most satisfying death-rattles its ever been my privilege to hear. Well done that man!

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